Eve of Christmas Eve

Gareth watched as Autumn walked out of the kitchen, heading in the direction of her room. He sighed and sat down. Everyone was looking at him, especially his Mum.

"Come Gareth, let's go for a walk.", Pris announced and stood up. Nicholas followed suit.
"Excuse us.", Nicholas said as they left the table.

Gareth followed them out to the apple orchard. As they walked, Pris looked at Gareth. Gareth sighed out loud.

"What's wrong?", Nicholas asked him. Gareth looked at both of them.
"Autumn.", was all Gareth said and walked on. Nicholas and Pris caught up with him.
"Come on, let's head to the stables, where we can talk.", Pris suggested.

At the stables, they were greeted by Jess and Dan. Pris asked to be excused, and the three of them settled in.

"What about Autumn?", Pris asked Gareth.
"I'm not sure. She's upset about something, other than the loss of Chloe.", Gareth said with a sigh.
"What do you mean?", Nicholas asked, somewhat confused.
"She told me that we should stop seeing each other.", Gareth began and went on to explain what had transpired between him and Autumn. Pris and Nic listen attentively, not interrupting.
~~~

I closed the door behind, after making sure that Gareth had not followed me. I settled in at my workdesk and saw an MSN message for me from my sister. I quickly looked at it. Shiru was asking if I would be able to visit them during the New Year. I thought about it and remembered Monique telling me for a New Yea party going on at the St Claire's residence. I left a msg teling Shiru that I will visit after the New Year and will go over for the Chinese New Year. With that, I went out to the balcony and settled there. Looking out at the sea, I thought about alot of things.

There is a potential scandal on the way, and I'm thinking if I should even continue whatever relationship I had with Gareth. Even if Gareth propose, as this very moment, I don't think I will say yes to him. Too much has happened in such a short time. What happens then? I know that he loves me, but... For the fact that there is nothing tying us together anymore, I could just go on my own way. I needed to talk to someone, but who? Pris has her problems with Nicholas and there's no one else I can talk to without risking the truth going out. Except maybe...

I picked up my phone and dialled, it rang for awhile and someone answered.

"Hello?"
"It's me."
"Qiuru? Oh gosh! How are you feeling now? I thought.."
"Rich, its ok. I'm doing ok, I guess. I need someone to talk to. Could we meet for coffee?", I asked
"Now?", Richard asked in surprise.
"Yeah, I'll meet you at our usual place in about half an hour?", I asked as I got up and looked around for my stuff.
"Sure, I'll see you there.", Richard said and we hung up.

I changed and grabbed my stuff and headed out.
~~~

"So that's what happened.", Gareth finished his explanation to Pris and Nic.
"What do you think?", he continued as he ran his hand through his hair.
"Well, Autumn does not want to disappoint you, nor does she want you to be unhappy. It's really who she is. She can give up her own happiness for the ones she loves. She has done it a number of times, and I'm not surprised that she can do it again.", Pris explained to Gareth. Gareth stared at Pris wide-eyed, surprised.
"Why would she do that?", Nicholas asked.
"That's just who she is.", Pris said with a shrug.

Gareth kept silent, taking in and thinking about what Pris said. If only he could convince her that he would still love her no matter what happened. As for children, the time will come eventually. There's no need to rush into it now. But how is he going to convince her? Gareth frowned.

"Gareth!", Nicholas called out, snapping him out of his thoughts.
"Autumn just drove out.", he added. Gareth looked up and noticed Autumn's car.
"Where is she going? She's going to be bombarded with the media.", Pris said and shook her head.
"She never learns, but then, that is who Autumn is. Carefree and reckless. I've got to call Ben, get someone to follow her and look out for her.", Pris said with a laugh and got up.
"Come on, let's get back to the Manor and have some tea, while we wait for Autumn to return.", Nicholas suggested as he got up. Gareth followed Pris and Nic back to the manor.
~~~

"Qiuru.", Richard called out. I indicated for him to sit down.
"How are you? Shouldn't you be at home resting?", Richard asked, concerned.
"I'm fine, I've been cooped up too long and need some frsh air.", I explained and took a sip of my drink.
"You should not even be drinking to start with.", Richard warned and frowned.
"I'll be fine.", I said nonchantly and took another sip. Richard settled in.
"Your usual?", I asked him, and he nodded.
"Qiuru, before we move onto other things, I just want to apologise for what hapened previously.", Richard began. I looked at him.
"I'm sorry for your loss as well. I should have stayed with you.", Richard said softly. I reached out and held his hand, and he looked up at me
"Richard, it was not your fault. You did everything necessary, but he caught us all offguard. It was nobody's fault. It could be a blessing in diguise.", I explained and squeezed his hand.
"But I..", Richard began, but I stopped him.
"No Rich, enough. It's over and I have accepted my loss, as did the Duke.", I said, then took another sip. Richard only nodded.

"I just needed someone to talk to.", I explained with a small smile.
"What about Priscilla? Or the Duke?", Richard asked.
"They are involved. I need an outsider's viewpoint. And besides, Pris is busy with the Christmas party preparations.", I said casually. Richard nodded as he took his drink.
"So what is the problem?", Richard asked. I sighed.
"Let me guess... Matters of the heart?", he continued, with a knowing smile. I sighed again.
"Qiuru, the most notorious mafia boss, reduced to this, because of a man.", Richard teased. I looked up at him and laughed. He laughed along.
"Dump him. Take me instead.", Richard said, with a conviction. I looked at him and laughed again.

"You can't be serious Rich.", I said in between laughter.
"Why not?", he asked me, his tone hopeful. I stopped laughing.
"Rich, I can't.. Gareth and I went through something.. ", I began slowly.
"Qiuru, I'm serious. I can look after you.", Richard tried. I shook my head.
"Thank you Rich, but I can't. You're a great guy and I'm sure you will someone whom you love and will love you in return.", I explained with a small smile. Richard only sighed.
"Well, at least I tried.", he said softly. I held his hand and squezed it gently.

"So what now?", he asked as he looked up at me. I shook my head.
"I don't know. I'm considering my relationship with Gareth. Should I continue whatever I have with him? Or should we officiate it? Or maybe keep it physical? Or... I don't know Rich. I don't know what to do. I'm lost. I've lost a child and I think I'm beginning to lose my mind over this whole matter. Chloe, Gareth, my family, his family, my real family, the whole socialite thing. It's kind of overwhelming you know?", I explained with a sigh.

"I just have a few questions for you and you have to answer them honestly.", Richard began. I looked at him, confused.
"First is, are you enjoying your life now? Do you like it?", he asked seriously. I looked at him, somewhat confused.
"Be honest with yourself.", he said.
"I guess. I'm not sure if this is the kind of life I want to lead forever. But for the moment, I am enjoying it.", I said softly. Richard smiled.
"Enjoy it now. This life is have is one that everyone drams of. so what if one day, you decide that enough is enough, for now, live it to the fullest. What about your own family?", Richard continued.
"I miss them tremendously.", I said softly with a sigh.
"Then find a time to visit them soon.", was all he said.

"Does he love you?", Richard asked slowly. I looked at Richard.
"I think he does. he had said itso many times.", I said with a sigh.
"Then, do you love him?", he answered me with another question. Richard raised a brow, indicating that I had to be very honest with myself. I thought for a moment.
"I'm not sure if this is love. But I like being with him. I mean, I enjoy his company, I like listening to him talk about his work, his ambitions, his ancestors. Can you believe that I enjoy listening to him go on and on about his ancestors?", I told Richard with a laugh.
"You look like you do. Only women would talk about the men they love like that, with that particular glow on their faces.", Richard said with a smile.
"I do?", I asked him and he nodded. I stopped and thought for a moment.

"If you still feel that you are unsure, then spend more time with him. Bring him along to visit your family in Australia, a short trip might allow you two to spend time away from everyone else in the circle.", Richard suggested as he sipped his drink.
"That is.. That would be like introducing a future husband to my family.", I said with a laugh. Richard laughed.
"Thanks Rich. I've got some thinking to do.", I said and got up.
Take care Qiuru.", he said as Richard got up and hugged me. I returned the hug and we said our goodbyes.

I drove back to the Manor. The main hall was quiet. I walked into the kitchen. Nobody. I shrugged and went up to my room. I stepped in and looked around. Nobody. I settled on my bed and sighed. I picked up the ultrasound photo and looked at. My heart ached. I collected all the photos and put them back into the envelope and put it into my workdesk drawer. I needed to move on. I sighed and turned around only to bump into someone who grabbed my arms to steady me. I looked up.

"Qiuru.", he greeted with a smile. I smiled back and hugged him.
"Wilber.", I greeted him softly.